Testing, testing, 1, 2… bang!

The text had a slightly plaintive quality. It came from Dan in response to an APB I’d put out to Ti contributors asking for examples of what had gone wrong while they’d been testing cars at Millbrook Proving Ground. You can read the responses at the end of this tale. Because compared to me Dan was born about 10 minutes ago, long after car manufacturers had twigged that making cars that didn’t spontaneously combust was a decent marketing move, he had no suitable contribution to make. ‘Wish I’d been testing cars in the 1980s and ’90s when interesting stuff happened…’ it read.

Well I’m not so sure. Back in the period to which he refers, the Millbrook Proving Ground was my second home. Occupying various positions on the Autocar road test desk as I did during this period, it was my job to extract a level of performance from every new car on sale that, frankly, most felt disinclined to provide.

Of course to my former City colleagues decked out in their double breasted chalk-stripe suits with strides held aloft by mandatory red braces, it all sounded frightfully exciting. Glamorous even. But then again, none of them had ever been there.