Dancing on ice?

It’s the car industry’s biggest ruse since DeLorean told Thatcher he’d create thousands of jobs in Belfast. What else could it be? For weeks at a time they live hundreds of miles from home in this restful winter wonderland. By day they powerslide next year’s showroom models around race tracks carved into frozen lakes, and by night they drink Mariestads Export, a favourite beer around these parts.

Come the weekend they ski, race snowmobiles and drive husky sleds between conifers that droop under the weight of crisp, white snow. Yet the world’s car engineers insist this is crucial work. Audi’s Mattes Reiling grins knowingly, but just when I think he’s about to wink and raise a single upright digit to his lips, he begins to talk about ESP tuning, consistent surface conditions and other such rot.