Man Maths: Ford Capri 2.8i

Actually, scratch that. I’ve wanted one ever since that series of The Professionals when Bodie upgraded to a MkIII 3-litre S, leaving poor old Doyle scrabbling around in its exhaust fumes in his old 2-litre RS2000. Not even my evil almost-stepfather’s automatic 3-litre Ghia put me off.

Not even I am quite old enough to have tested Capris in period, but I do remember borrowing one of the last 2.8i models, the run-out 280 complete with limited-slip diff and seven spoke alloys and finding it, as had Willie, remarkably good fun to drive, albeit in a slightly agricultural way.

But now the Capri name has returned, attached to the back of an EV crossover, I miraculously find my interest in the original piqued all over again. So I toddled over to the PistonHeads classifieds and got the fright of my life. I thought you might be looking at £10-12k for a 2.8i, maybe as much as £20k for a really good 280. How wrong I was. The cheapest 280 listed with 50k miles on the clock is up for £34,995! The most expensive? There’s a 2.8i Special listed with 585 miles for £71,195.

Look elsewhere and even 100k mile 2.8is are knocking on the door of twenty grand. And while there are plenty of cheaper Capris, they’ve all got either automatic gearboxes, the lumpen old Essex V6, or a four-cylinder motor of 2-litres or below. You could buy a 1.3 if you’re interested. Me neither.

It’s a shame because having not really thought about Capris for years, now the idea really appeals. The problem is the list of other cars for the same money that probably appeal even more. Sometimes it seems, not even Man Maths can blind you to the truth.

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