Man Maths: Alpina D3

Technically its story begins with the E90 generation of 3 Series that first appeared over 20 years ago, in 2005. But we’re going to push right past the very first D3 because, in the mistaken belief its diesel customers valued fuel consumption and range over performance and character, Alpina chose as its basis the 2-litre four-cylinder engine, rather than the 3-litre six. Late in the production run, a twin-turbo version was produced with a little more power, but it was too little, too late.

The F30 D3 of 2013 was a rather different proposition. Using the bigger engine, it developed 345bhp, backed by a wall of torque far beyond even what an M3 could develop. And so was born one the most effortless ground-coverers ever to find itself wrapped up in a compact BMW shell.

But for all its power, it was the way that powertrain interacted with the sublimely-tuned chassis that made it such a special car. And the fact they go on forever: I know one that, the last time I looked, had done 150,000 miles and, save consumables, had required a replacement for a damaged windscreen and absolutely nothing else.

The good folk of Buchloe were smart enough not to vary the formula for the G20 generation, but contented themselves with adding another five horsepower and raising torque from 516 to 538lb ft on the basis that it’s not possible to have too much of a good thing. For comparison’s sake, a standard M3 has 406lb ft.

The only Alpina I’ve rated more highly was its take on the BMW Z1, complete with a 2.7-litre engine and at least some of the torque the original so lacked. The latest D3 was everything I wanted an Alpina to be: effortless, engaging, practical, and with that indefinable sense of being handcrafted you just don’t find in other BMWs. Though rarely seen and little known beyond cognoscenti circles, this was one of the best cars of any kind of the modern era.

Note the use of the past tense? BMW finally bought Alpina at the end of last year, shut production and is in the process of repositioning it as a standalone luxury brand positioned between where BMW stops and Rolls-Royce starts. Bentley territory in other words. So if you want a D3, it is to the nearly new market you must turn.

Which is where the Man Maths kicks in, because the world has woken up to the fact that these are not only brilliant, but rare and gone for good. So you’re looking at about £60,000 for a 2024 low mileage example. If, indeed, you can find one. They’re already thin on the ground and I suspect only going to get thinner as new owners realise what they have and that it’s not going to be replaced. They’ll just hang on to them until they finally fall to bits decades from now. And I can’t say I blame them.