Man Maths: Citroën Mehari

That body comprises just 11 parts and you can jetwash the entire thing, inside and out, in one circuit with the lance. In their day Meharis were sold to the police, customs, airports, shopkeepers, craftsfolk and, in surprising quantity, the military. They got through over 11,000 of the little blighters. And I think they’re just about the coolest thing on wheels.

Which brings me to a confession, awkward for someone who should know what they’re talking about in general and when writing about Man Maths in particular. I’ve never driven one. I have been in one but was so inebriated I spent my time trying not to fall out of the back rather than focussing on soaking up some kind of vicarious driving experience. But I’ve driven 2CVs – dozens of ‘em, possibly hundreds, and the Mehari is one of those, but even lighter (think 535kg thanks to that plastic body) and wide open from stem to stern. What on earth is there not to like?

Well let me tell you. I am not alone in thinking Moke Schmoke, Buggy Schmuggy when there’s a Mehari in view out of the window. They’ve always been more expensive than you might think, but now they’re getting properly pricey. Don’t bother looking in the UK – there are just too few around, but there are plenty, and I do mean plenty, still available in France. The problem is even pretty ratty examples fetch €12,000 or more. Now, I wouldn’t much mind a charmingly scruffy one, just not one that looks like it’s spent the last 20 years living in a damp cave.

But it gets worse than that. I don’t really want a Mehari. I want a four-wheel drive Mehari, which were for sale between 1979-84. Ten of these were supplied as medical cars for the 1980 Paris-Dakar rally, back in the days when the event really did run from Paris to Dakar. And if you think a front-drive Mehari is expensive… They only made just over 1200 4x4s, making them rarer than Ferrari F40s. The only good news is that they’re cheaper than 4×4 2CV Saharas on account of the fact that, unlike the intrepid all-wheel drive Deuche, the Mehari 4×4 doesn’t have two engines. Even so, would you pay €32,000 (minimum) for all-wheel drive 2CV in beach apparel? If it didn’t mean selling my own beloved 1958 2CV to make space for it, I would in a heartbeat.