Man Maths: Ferrari 348

So which two cars get the chop in this not-as-hypothetical-as-it-should-be scenario? The DeLorean and the Elise. The Ferrari steps in, able to handle the touring duties of the DeLorean, yet also the open-topped tactile sports car fun of the Elise. Not just that, but the 348 has the same power as the two of them put together, all growling from a Ferrari V8 just behind your head. I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it.

The dream would be a late model, manual (they all are, those were the days) 320bhp GTS (targa roof in red, not black). All of the coupé’s looks without the compromises of the Spider. The problem is that Ferrari only made 15 of them in right-hand drive. So they’re hard to find, and when they do come up, they’re dangerously close to F355 money – 80 grand plus. Which rather blows a hole in the whole rationale.

So we’re going to have to look at slightly earlier cars from 1989-1993. And this is where I’m beholden to address the primary concerns of contemporary road testers: 348s are slow and they handle poorly. The first of which is easily batted off with my context argument – even the earlier 300bhp V8 was recorded as reaching 60mph in 5.6 seconds. About the same as my Elise, and a good two seconds quicker than my (fettled, Santa Pod record-setting I’ll have you know) DeLorean. And as for the 171mph top whack, neither of the others gets close.

Now, the handling… Most of the early (bad) press came from the car at launch in 1989. There was relatively little coverage that came as the TB and TS morphed into GTB and GTS in 1993. Those end-of-the-run models didn’t just get a bit more power, but a wider rear track and revised suspension geometry, which dealt with many of those widely reported ‘pushing on problems’. The brilliant news is that those modifications can be retrofitted to earlier cars – fat wheel spacers on the back, as well as adopting the revised geometry. Some owners also sing the handling praises of fitting wider wheels from the 355 or 360.

Which brings us on to the genuinely good bits, most notably the steering. Ti’s very own Gavin Green, writing in 1990, said, ‘There is nothing like it. It communicates so richly, involves you so completely.’ And then there’s Ti’s other very own Henry Catchpole, who said the 348 possessed ‘some of the best steering, possibly the best, that I have ever sat behind.’

And when you consider that the universally loved 355 really isn’t all that different to a late 348 under the skin, the beads on my Man Maths abacus start to vibrate uncontrollably.

So to the numbers: tired 348s can be found at auction from around the £40,000 mark. A tidy one will be more like £60,000. You obviously budget for a good one because you’re not insane. Still, with engine-out cambelt services every three years, you need to factor in £3000 a year to run it. Minimum. But… with maybe £15,000 left over from selling my two donor vehicles, that’s five years of glorious open-top Ferrari motoring for free.

Man Maths at its finest. I challenge you to convince me it’s a bad idea. Perhaps the only cure for this devastating affliction is a big cold splash of side-straked exposure therapy…

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