Man Maths: Bentley Continental GT

During its development the GT was maxed out at Ehra-Lessien near Wolfsburg at over 200mph, then spent a year in a desert to ensure nothing sagged or decomposed. So time in a Northamptonshire garden should be no hardship. It’s probably rescuable for half the price of optional carbon ceramics on the modern equivalent. But, still… better do some digging before I go knocking to find out what and, more importantly, how expensive they can go wrong.

So I called P&A Wood, a mecca for anyone who gets excited by a pre- or, in my case, post-war Bentley and, let’s be friendly, Rolls-Royce – you’re as likely to see a Camargue there as you are a Turbo R. On my last pilgrimage, though, I became very distressed by a first-gen Conti GT in the workshop with the guts of its interior exploded across the floor. What had caused the massacre? Merely a blocked drainage hole. My mechanical skills go no further than locating the bonnet release (not always easy) for adding washer fluid. Helpfully, then, the issue is spottable by damp carpets or an engine warning light caused by chaffed wiring. Less helpfully, the owner of that GT – if their car does need a new wiring loom – could be looking at, gulp, £40k to repair the damage.

If that hasn’t put you off, and it hasn’t me, there’s good news in that the W12 engine and gearbox are solid. P&A knows a car that’s done 150,000 miles and one recently popped up for sale in the US with over half a million. A full-on service will be £3500 but one only needs to find that every three years. And I’ll be bored, given my past history, by then. A handbrake thingy can crack so I will need to check that works or it’s £1000 to fix. The third brake light, the first ever to be full-width leading to a rewriting of the EU rules for such things, can suffer from interruptions, but is also fixable for, yes, another £1000.

I then enquired why this car was rudely raising its bottom to passers-by. Air suspension. Lovely when it works, expensive when it doesn’t, as anyone who has previously enjoyed an elderly Range Rover or Audi Allroad will know. Or indeed a Bentley, for which replacements can be £2500. Per corner. Easy to test for leakages, though. P&A says put the car in its highest ‘jack’ mode then tightly apply masking tape from tyre to bodywork and leave to simmer. And, encouragingly, my potential rescue’s doggy pose could just be due to a flat battery.

So the Man Maths is adding up. Except I already have a large-engined, large-bodied Audi of that era that hasn’t turned its polished 18 inchers since I forget when. In my defence, at least it’s living in a bubble in a warehouse rather than a front garden.

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